Return-Path: Delivered-To: info@ausheart.com.au Received: (qmail 20041 invoked from network); 5 Jul 2003 22:16:39 -0000 Received: from efwd.dnsix.com (216.34.94.189) by 0 with SMTP; 5 Jul 2003 22:16:39 -0000 Received: from [203.147.241.115] (helo=bne004se.server-mail.com) by efwd.dnsix.com with smtp (Exim 3.36 #1) id 19YvKb-0000VS-00 for info@mensprayer.com; Sat, 05 Jul 2003 15:16:33 -0700 Received: (qmail 17410 invoked from network); 5 Jul 2003 22:16:30 -0000 Received: from unknown (HELO bne063v.webcentral.com.au) (202.139.234.63) by bne004se.server-mail.com with SMTP; 5 Jul 2003 22:16:30 -0000 Subject: Fathers-Loving in word & deed Sender: "Fatherhood Foundation" From: "Fatherhood Foundation" Date: Sun, 6 Jul 2003 08:16:28 +1000 To: "info@mensprayer.com" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable MIME-Version: 1.0 X-USER_IP: 61.9.128.173 X-Mailer: JMail 4.1.0 by Dimac Message-ID: <003301c1cfc4$27ced2d0$0800a8c0@bosweb.com.au> Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="--NEXT_BM_6C1FF62A96D24723923EF382FAE6C962" This is a multipart message in MIME format. ----NEXT_BM_6C1FF62A96D24723923EF382FAE6C962 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable Newsletter Issue No=2E 45-7th July, 2003 In this issue: - Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg - Dads with Young Children - Grandads - Laughter - Single Dads - Special Feature - Thought for the Week - News & Info - Dad's Prayer - Mission Statement & Help Us! Welcome to fathersonline=2Eorg ---------------------- Dear Ken, =A0 My ten year old daughter came home from school and said, =93Daddy, would you= come to school and talk about Federal Parliament to my class=2E=A0 The teac= her has heard about your work in Parliament House and asked if you would com= e=2E=A0 Oh and by the way, could you also bring the rabbit to school so I ca= n show my friends=3F=94=A0 How do you respond to a request like that=3F =A0 In the past I have usually said, =93No!=94 to a lot of school activities=2E=A0= I usually send my wife to parent-teacher interviews=2E=A0 Pioneering a non-= profit organisation keeps me working flat-out doing everything myself=2E=A0 = We have no paid staff, including ourselves=2E=A0 No big backers or governmen= t funding and over many years of working in community organisations I have f= ound that very few people will help your non-profit project until you have e= stablished a track record=2E=A0 In other words you have to work extremely ha= rd in the first few years and keep the dream alive, while keeping the wolves= at bay=2E=A0 This can be trying to say the least=2E=A0 So when you get a re= quest from you daughter to talk at her school about parliament and rabbits a= midst your busy schedule, you tend to put it off=2E =A0 I got to thinking about Richard Yiap=92s story last week in Dad=92s with You= ng Children about his school visit to view his son=92s work=2E=A0 He wrote a= bout the sad look on the children=92s faces who did not have a parent presen= t=2E=A0 Richard told how his son=92s eyes lit up when he arrived, and proudl= y showed his dad his schoolwork=2E=A0 I got to thinking about Daniel Petre=92= s brilliant book called =91Father Time =96 Making Time for Your Children=92,= Macmillan Publishing =A9 1998=2E=A0 In this book, Daniel Petre, the previou= s managing director of Microsoft Australia and the Chairman of Publishing an= d Broadcasting Limited, talks about his regular commitment to be available f= or the Canteen Roster at his daughter=92s school=2E=A0 Daniel was in fact th= e founder of the Fathers Canteen Roster=2E=A0 Pretty amazing career move for= a multi-million dollar executive=2E=A0 In the face of these two rather famo= us dads, I felt decidedly guilty=2E =A0 After all these thoughts, my answer to my daughter was, =93Of course, I woul= d love to talk about rabbits and parliament=2E=A0 They are both my favourite= subjects =2E =2E =2E=A0 and no, I won=92t be late=94=2E=A0 The big day came= and I carefully put Cluedo in the box and turned up 15 mins early in recess= time so that my daughter could show her friends her rabbit=2E Guess who was= the biggest hit=3F =96 the rabbit was!=A0 It was the same in the classroom=2E= =A0 The rabbit stole the show and my daughter=92s smile of appreciation for = her dad stole my heart=2E =A0 Lovework =A0 Volunteer canteen work at the school won=92t make you a million dollars, but= it just might light up your child=92s eyes=2E=A0 Getting involved in your c= hildren=92s activities at school won=92t set the world on fire but it just m= ight show your child that they really are important to you=2E =A0 So next time you are asked to be involved at school presentations, sports da= ys, canteen and other things that directly involve your child, don=92t bury = your head in the paper or reach for the remote control, just say =93Of cours= e I=92d love to be involved in your school life=2E=A0 You are very important= to me and I love you=2E=A0 Remember, =93Just do it!=94 =A0 Yours for rabbits, parliament and dads at school Warwick Marsh =A0 =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 Warwick Marsh=A0=A0has been married=A0to Alison for=A027 years=2E He is the = father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 22 year= s to=A010 years=2E=A0 Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public= speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself=2E =A0 Dads with Young Children ---------------------- THE ART OF FATHERING=A0 =A0RED TAPE RESCUE =A0 =A0 What a=A0great thing=A0to see the efforts of the Fatherhood Foundation team = recognised by two of the most powerful institutions in the country; the Medi= a and the Government, with the adoption of the 12 Point Plan=2E To gain supp= ort from these areas is a windfall, and at the very least, an opportunity to= =93be heard=94=2E For those people involved with the Fatherhood Foundation,= it has never been a question of=A0 =93is it a worthy cause=3F=94 simply a q= uestion of =93when will people take notice=3F=94=A0 With the supprt and reco= gnition of the 12 Point Plan, this worthy cause will be noticed=2E =A0 I have always been an advocate of =91keeping it simple=92, and in light of t= his, believe the 12 Point Plan to be a document based on simple yet honest t= ruth=92s, laid on a foundation of one main ingredient=85love=2E In reading t= his document, the first thing you realise is that there is no hidden agenda,= no =93wait=85there=92s more=94 mentality, just an honest desire to see our = children afforded the future they so rightly deserve=2E For those of us who = aren=92t big readers, you need go no further than the pre-amble of this docu= ment=2E The first paragraph says it all =96 =93The quality of the relationsh= ips between mothers and fathers and their children will determine the destin= y of Australia=94=2E I am so in favour of this view, for it is a concept not= embedded in theory, or philosophical frames of reference, simply a vision t= hat has only the best intentions, and is something we can all strive to achi= eve=2E =A0 For me, as a father of young children, I understand the importance of, and t= he positive result of having family unity=2E Further, I also recognise the n= eed for a support mechanism to be in place that endeavours to achieve that u= nity=2E It is these two elements which are perhaps in my simplistic view of = the world,=A0the nucleus of the 12 Point Plan=2E =A0 Element 1; being in a loving and caring family=85for me is perhaps the bigge= st challenge in today=92s hectic fast-paced world=2E I know over the past 40= or so weeks my articles have often mentioned the need to have better time-m= anagement skills, because at the end of the day =96 your family are the ones= who suffer=2E Spending time with your children is one area that helps achie= ve a better family unit=2E Another area is the quality of your relationship = with your partner=2E I know, from experience=85happy wife, happy life=2E The= more quality time spent together, the more love shown to each other, and th= e more respect afforded, the better our relationship becomes=2E =A0 Element 2; a support mechanism that helps strengthen the family unit=2E Gove= rnment support will provide many benefits; with =91recognition of cause=92, = and =91increased funding=92 perhaps the most obvious=2E However, other areas= of importance are examining current and future legislation, with the Family= law Act and Child Support legislation major targets for review=2E Also, edu= cation is vital=85both in the education of boys and male adults, and in educ= ating and equipping fathers with the relevant knowledge and skills they need= to be effective parents=2E Let=92s not forget the support of institutions s= uch as the Fatherhood Foundation=85Inspiring fathers =96 Renewing families=2E= =A0 I would like to finish by congratulating the efforts and commitment of Warwi= ck Marsh and Richard Yiap, National Fathering Forum Convenors; thankyou to a= ll those who took part in the forum; and congratulations to everyone involve= d in helping the Fatherhood Foundation and the 12 Point Plan achieve its goa= l=85Turning the Tide on Fatherlessness=2E =A0 =A0 Till next time, PAUL =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F Paul Sloan is an accountant working in Maroochydoore=2E He is married with t= hree children aged one, nine and eleven years=2E Paul is an active surfer li= ving on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland=2E He is a family man who hasn't lo= st his sense of humour=2E Grandads ---------------------- When I was a boy of fourteen my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand = to have the old man around=2E But when I got to be twenty-one=A0I was astoni= shed at how much the old man had learned in seven years=2E Mark Twian Laughter ---------------------- Three young boys were walking on the sidewalk arguing over whose daddy was t= he greatest=2E One said, 'My dad is the greatest because he is the president= of the town bank=2E' The second boy said, 'That is pretty good, but my dadd= y owns two grocery stores in town!' The third boy said, 'That's nothing, my = dad is a preacher, and he owns hell=2E He came home last night and told my m= om that the Church Board gave it to him!' =A0 As everyone was leaving the church, the Pastor noticed a young boy in the ha= llway, looking at a number of pictures on the wall=2E He said, 'Well, hello,= young man, how are you today=3F' The boy said, 'Oh, fine=2E' The pastor sai= d, 'I see you are looking at the pictures on the wall, do you know who the m= en in those pictures are=3F' The boy said 'No, who are they=3F' The pastor s= aid proudly 'Well, son, those are pictures of the men in our congregation th= at gave their life in the service'=2E The boy replied, ' The 10 o'clock or t= he 11 o'clock service=3F Single Dads ---------------------- Let's get physical by Steve Gray =A0 =A0 When your own Dad was never around, or drunk, when one of your very last con= versations with him was 'You really are a little shit!' it can be difficult = to know how I, as a Dad should relate to my own children=2E =A0 I have always suffered low self-esteem and found it hard to get close to peo= ple=2E In one of my early jobs an office clown found out I did not like bein= g touched or hugged=2E So what did the clown do=3F =A0 Every time we were together this guy would pat my shoulder, give me a hug, s= queeze my arm, embrace me in a friendly manner=2E We were both married men a= nd neither had then or ever had any same-sex feelings=2E Still I was angry! = If he had not been half my height there were many times when I would have pu= nched him, very hard in the face - repeatedly=2E=A0 =A0 Twenty-five years later I have no idea where this wonderful man is but I ble= ss him with all of my heart=2E He started a healing process: that proximity = did not mean abuse, and another person inside your own physical space is not= necessarily a bad thing=2E =A0 Children are tactile-responsive, wonderful creatures not meant to be 'seen a= nd not heard'=2E=A0 Neither are they fragile=2E =A0 Today in our educational facilities, there are very strict and appropriate r= ules governing contact with our students=2E But in this rigidly protective e= nvironment a simple act like sitting on the floor with them or squeezing a s= houlder in encouragement can be a meaningful communication of care and respe= ct=2E =A0 When I see such responsiveness to a simple act I often have to wonder how of= ten do these kids get a hug from their parents=3F =A0 If you too ever felt self-conscious about others being close to you and you = think it has stopped you from being naturally affectionate to your kids, the= n have a look at where it may have started and choose to break free - for yo= ur children's sake=2E=A0 Counselling is cool! =A0 Children need to know they are loved in word and deed=2E They hunger for the= right forms of affirmation=2E Hold hands when you protectively take them ac= ross the road=2E Kiss them goodnight=2E Read to them - that is one of the si= mplest and greatest joys of spending time with children=2E They are our hope= and our future=2E =A0 =A0=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 Steve Gray is a finance broker, divorced and single=2E His three children sp= ent most of their time over the past decade living with their Dad=2E Steve s= ays,'I don't think of myself as a good father, but I keep trying to be one=2E= ' =A0 Special Feature ---------------------- A Character Family adapted by Richard Yiap =A0 What is a character family=3F It is a family with challenges and pressures; = with imperfections, inconsistencies, and needs; with periodic conflicts and = failures BUT a family that has purposed to learn true harmony and genuine ap= preciation for each other and those outside the family=2E =A0 Have you wondered why some families seem to get along with each other and fi= nd true contentment and happiness, while others are ravaged by anger, bitter= ness, and division=3F The difference is not money, education or opportunitie= s=2E The difference is CHARACTER=2E =A0 Points to Ponder: =A0We have taller buildings but shorter tempers Whe have more conveniences but less time We have more knowledge but less judgement We have fancier houses but broken homes We clean up the air but pollute our souls We travel to the moon but not to our neighbours=2E We add years to life but not life to years =A0 How can you become a Character family=3F =A0 1=2E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Pass a family resolution =A0 2=2E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Form a committee for planning and implementation =A0=A0 =B7=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Determine the goals =A0=A0 =B7=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Evaluate your family=92s strength and weakne= sses =A0=A0 =B7=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Plan, prioritise and schedule projects aroun= d the house =A0 3=2E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Delegate character awareness projects =A0=A0 =B7=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Explain character qualities selected to c= oncentrate on and how they apply to life =A0=A0 =B7=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Parents can distribute a list for the chi= ldren outlining their goals =A0 4=2E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Organise family projects to make service fun =A0 5=2E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Share your story with other families=2E =A0 =A0 Resources available from Character First Australia=A0 (03) 52533272 =A0 =A0Foundational Character Qualities =A0Attentiveness=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Showing the worth of a per= son or task by giving my undivided concentration Obedience=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Quickly and che= erfully carrying out the direction of those who are responsible for me Truthfulness=A0 =A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 =A0Earning future trust by= accurately reporting past facts Gratefulness=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Letting others know b= y my actions and words how they have benefited my life Generosity=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Carefully mana= ging my resources so I can freely give to those=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 in need Orderliness=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Arranging myself= and my surroundings to achieve greater efficiency Patience=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 =A0=A0 Accepting= a difficult situation without giving a deadline to remove it Wisdom=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 See= ing and responding to life situations from a perspective that transcends my = current=A0 situation Punctuality=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Showing esteem f= or others by doing the right thing at the right time =A0 =A0 These are really great character qualities to foster in children and in fami= lies=2E =A0 =A0 Excerpts above from =93Achieving True Success by Building a Character Family= =94=A0 by IACC (International Association of Character Cities) =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 Richard Yiap is married to Yokai and they have one son=2E Fathering is a great passion of Richard's and his time is devoted to mentoring=A0and assisting young people in personal development and growth=2E Thought for the Week ---------------------- =A0 It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father=2E= H=2EV=2E Prochnov News & Info ---------------------- News Report =A0 Since the release of The 12pt =A0Plan to strengthen and support Australian f= athers on Thurs 26th June, 2003, we have done live radio interviews with Lar= ry Ember 2UE, Shaun 3AW, SBS, Peter on 3AWQ and Phil Cleary 3AK=2E=A0 Phil w= ent for the jugular and was pretty acidic, but everyone else has been incred= ibly fair and positive=2E=A0 We expect further media opportunities but don=92= t forget that you can make your own media opportunities=2E=A0 Download The 1= 2pt Plan from the web at: http://www=2Eausheart=2Ecom=2Eau/fathers/12point/1= 2pt-plan-hi=2Epdf for high resolution or http://www=2Eausheart=2Ecom=2Eau/fa= thers/12point/12pt-plan-low=2Epdf for low resolution and send it off to your= local radio station / paper and ask them to run a story=2E=A0 We also have = a full transcript available of the launch session with speeches by Mark Lath= am MP, Hon Larry Anthony, Hon Ross Cameron at:=A0 above site=2E=A0 Our sugge= stion for those wanting positive change is to focus on Point 1 of The 12pt P= lan, That is, the proposal for a ministry for fatherhood at Federal level=2E= =A0 Write to the prime Minister today with your request for action=2E=A0 Add= ress your letter to: The Hon John Howard Prime Minister of Australia Parliament House CANBERRA=A0 ACT=A0 2600 =A0 We are getting continual requests since the release of The 12pt=A0 Plan from= interested fathers and phone calls from others interested in the National S= trategic Fatherhood Conference in Parliament House in Canberra on 18th & 19t= h August=2E=A0 If you are, or know someone who is interested, please get the= m to contact us on 02 4272 6677=2E=A0 The event is invitation only and will = be an important step in the restoration of fatherhood in Australia=2E =A0 =A0 Letters =A0 Dear Fatherhood Foundation Let me start by saying congratulations to the Fatherhood Foundation in achieving what they have in such a short time=2E=A0 This foundation is a strong & united 'team' that is representing our needs as non custodial dads=2E I am glad that it has the courage to bring to light the detrimental effect that the Child Support Agency is having on dads and families in general and how they create emotional, psychological and financial hardship=2E I intend to submit more information of the injustices the Child Support Agency have been responsible for=2E=A0 I have been separated for 2 years now and even in such a short space of time, I have experienced the cold and abrupt shoulder of the CSA=2E=A0 I have also seen the cowardly methods by which they disguise their injustices to non custodial dads in their political replies in parrot fashion, which are all to often another way of saying that their decision is final (even though it is a clearly an unfair one)=2E I wish to continue with more examples in the future, but will end this for now as I=92m sure this is not the first letter regarding the CSA and the urgent need for Family Law reform=2E=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0=A0 Is there an address where I can send my letters to our Prime Minister=3F=3F = Thanks Alan =A0 =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F= =5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F=5F =A0 Dear Fatherhood Foundation =A0 So pleased to agree and endorse Warwick Marsh's letter to John Howard=2E=A0 = We have seen too many tragedies in children's lives because, for one reason = or another, of the lack of a father's input=2E=A0 I am totally opposed to th= e Family Court Judge who immediately stated that to implement such a move wa= s=A0a practical impossibility and that the plan would fail!!=2E=2E=2E=2EBles= s you for your efforts,=A0 =A0 Fran Aroney=2E =A0 Dad's Prayer ---------------------- Dear God =A0 Rabbits are wonderful creatures with their big floppy ears=2E Our parliament is a wonderful place Where people work hard to make the right decisions=2E =A0 Would you help me use my experiences, whatever they might be, so that I can be a bigger and better part of my children=92s life=2E =A0 Help me not to say =91no=92 to the opportunities for involvement in my children=92s lives=2E even if they cost me something=2E =A0 Some things money can=92t buy=2E One of those is love and the other is time=2E Help me use my time to love And not the other way round =A0 Mission Statement & Help Us! ---------------------- Mission Statement The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated associati= on with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, b= y encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families=2E= Click here for more information about us (http://www=2Eausheart=2Ecom=2Eau/f= athers/about/index=2Ehtml) Help Us! The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is=A0giving=2E That'= s why this newsletter is given freely without expectation=2E=A0 Life is also about relationships=2E Thats what being a good father is all ab= out, developing relationships with your loved ones=2E=A0 If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation, please m= ail your cheque or money order to: Fatherhood Foundation P=2EO=2E Box 440 Wollongong NSW 2520 Australia You have received the fathersonline=2Eorg newsletter because you have subscr= ibed, or you have been subscribed by a friend=2E=A0 If you do not wish to re= ceive future emails, please click the=A0UNSUBSCRIBE button below or send an = email to info@fathersonline=2Eorg (mailto:info@fathersonline=2Eorg) with the= word UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject heading=2E To unsubscribe from this newsletter, please visit this address: http://www=2E= bosweb=2Ecom=2Eau/email=5Fblast/html/unsubscribe=2Easp=3Fclient=3Dfathers&ci= d=3D875 ----NEXT_BM_6C1FF62A96D24723923EF382FAE6C962 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: Quoted-Printable